Thursday, February 13, 2003

We can win this thing. A brilliant bit of satire, snagged from cocula.com, origin uncertain: For those worried that this impending attack on Iraq won't achieve its aims, it's important to point out America's stunning success stories since WW II. Korea, 1950s. Stunning US clean-sweep victory obliterates North Korea from political map of the world. within months the two countries are merged in one peaceful, capitalist, nation. Vietnam, 1975. Another dazzling American victory asNorth Vietnam, too, vanishes from the map of world history, merging into the peaceful, capitalist south, as was the objective. Lebanon, 1980s. US Marines kick serious Arab ass. El Salvador-Guatemala-Nicaragua-Panama, 1970s-1980s. US earns admiration of poor peasants everywhere for hardass, sound defeat of communist insurgent guerillas, making the region safe for the apparel industry. Grenada, Reagan Admin. One tough uS military handily defeats battle-hardened, career Soviet-trained Grenadian military. Gulf War I, 1991. US completely demolishes Hussein regime, driving Hussein off the stage of world history. Somalia, 1990s. US wins hearts and minds of Muslim people throughout northern Africa. Serbian campaign, 1990s. US teaches Serbian population danger of supporting a thug like Milosevic; US learns value of demolishing utility infrastructure and causing heavy environmental damage. Populations must learn the dangers of living in a conflict zone, and bring about regime change more quickly! Afghanistan, 2001-2003. US teaches Taliban and Al-Qaeda lesson they will never forget, completely smashing Al-Qaeda and driving it permanently from the stage of history. Leader Bin Laden killed, all top leadership along with him. Gulf War II, Feb-Mar. 2003. US unleashes "shock and awe" campaign, killing 38,000 Iraqis in first 48 hours, issues no apologies, saying "they knew what they were getting into, living in a combat zone like that." Hussein escapes, goes underground to write his memoirs, reassemble a guerilla army. Several hundred thousand US troops remain to "mop up pockets of resistance." US loses only 5 soldiers in training accidents in 6 day war. Korean War II, late 2003. US pulverizes Korean nuclear facilities, launches 2,200 cruise missiles at Pyongyang, killing 65,000 Koreans in 48 hours in Shock and Awe II, issues no apology, saying, "they knew what they were getting into, living in a combat zone." 15,000 US troops remain to mop up "pockets of resistance." US loses 6 soldiers, only in training accidents. Iran, 2004. Declaring Iranian uranium mines were being used to develop a nuke capability, US unleashes Shock and Awe 3, dropping 150 of its 15,000 pound "daisy cutter" bombs on Tehran, killing half the population in the first 48 hours. 24,000 troops remain to mop up pockets of resistance, no US casualties. Gaza Strip, early 2005. US joins Israeli campaign, intensive house-to-house fighting rages. 10,000 US troops remain to mop up pockets of resistance, handily winning the war. Indonesia, 2005. Declaring the country had gone over to the Islamist extremists, US levels Jakarta with cruise missiles. Several thousand mop up troops fan out through dozens of islands. President Bush declares another 6-day victory. Afghanistan, 2005. US sends in larger contingent to fight new alliance of Pashtun warlords with breakaway "Pashtun Autonomous Zone" of northern Pakistan. Pakistan, 2006. US invades as Pakistan breaks into 3 separate regions. Large force of US mountain fighters take up positions in Kashmir. Islamabad completely demolished by "Battlefield nukes" launched from howitzers, torrent of cruise missiles and 15,000 pound bombs. Menachem Begin City (formerly Cairo), Egypt, 2006. 24,000 US soldiers remain to mop up pockets of resistance after joint US-Israeli campaign rearranges regional map. Late 2006. NATO disintegrates into 3 bitter rival alliances. Donald Rumsfeld declares "good riddance." Gulf War III, 2007-2008. Iraqi opposition breaks into warring factions, US invades North, South and Western regions. Bush dispenses with formalities of regime change, appoints a panel of 7 oil company CEOs to run the "special energy zone." 2007. United Nations disintegrates into 3 rival groupings of nations. Republican Presidential Candidate Jeb Bush declares, "good riddance to bad rubbish." Saudi Arabia, late 2008. Supreme Court declares Jeb Bush defeat of Lieberman in presidential campaign despite Lieberman's 5,600,000 vote margin over Bush. Bush grows impatient with the Muslim Oil Embargo which has taken 6,500,000 barrels of oil a day off the US market. First US use of a (much larger) nuke since Pakistan campaign completely demolishes Riyadh. No mop-up operation is deemed necessary. World War III, mid 2008. Jeb Bush declares 6-day-victory over strange coalition of European, radical Islamic, Latin American and Asian alliance. 600,000 US troops stationed globally in mop-up operations. etc. [thanks to BobbyG] 11:37:10 PM

Again? The gubment has decided to put anti-aircraft missiles near "terror targets" such as the Pentagon and (I presume) the White House.  Seems pretty asinine to me.  Here's the thing: The only purpose for these missile batteries is if the government suspects that there will be another 9/11 attack, conducted by hijackers, with an airliner.  That's the only reason.  Is frickin' Canada going to send bombers?  Or maybe Guatemala?  I doubt it.  So it's about attacking airliners. The missile batteries shouldn't be there.  We need to be getting some level of security in exchange for our loss of freedoms and conveniences, don't we?  Putting the missiles there sends the wrong signal.  It says that we still don't have it right, and that we think another 9/11 could happen. Personally I think there will be something new, next time.  It's a little too hard for an attack by air.  It'll be something else.  So back off with the anti-air missiles, and lay off the DC airspace.  It's pointless.  Start putting the thinking cap on.  It's coming from somewhere else. 11:33:09 PM

National Threat Level. It seems to me that the Department of Homeland Security's "National Threat Level" is flawed from the start. Why? This is a vast country, and its actions and citizenry are spread out across the globe. What can manifest as a threat in one area is no threat whatsoever in others. The use of a single metric to describe conditions across a whole nation's activities is deceptive and unnecessary fear-mongering. I suggest to you that the average small-town dweller in Idaho need not worry about catastrophic acts of terrorism. A more realistic approach to the problem would include the acknowledgement that in a country of this size, terrorist acts are likely to affect a relatively small number of high profile target areas. These areas would include, obviously, New York and Washington, as examples. It is therefore substantially more rational to target warnings about terrorism to those areas that are truly at risk, rather than alarming the population in general. 3:31:02 PM

Chiara. She wondered why she's gotten such a warm reception in the blog world. Being a high tech girl in a big wide world doesn't hurt, but the reason is here: It's what she writes. From the heart, and that's rare when coupled with the ability to enumerate a good deal of what's going on there. 2:16:42 PM

Chris Crawford. The name may ring a bell with a few of you.  He's written a new book on interactivity.  I just picked it up tonight, and my first impressions are good.  I haven't actually opened it yet.  The book just feels nice, and at $29.95, was pretty easy on the wallet.  I like that in a book. It'll be my reading as I go overseas for the next week.  12:13:37 AM